Haters Gonna Hate!

Today as I ponder some of the things that make us tick in our society, I thought about the issue of haters. Now for those of you who are not familiar with the slang term haters, here is a definition from urban dictionary:

• A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

• Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn't really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch. 

So the question becomes why do people hate? Why is it sometimes we wish someone else to fall so that we can feel better? I see this play out during football season. I am a Raider fan, a franchise rich in a tradition of winning, and a commitment to excellence (okay enough of the propaganda), but it is no secret that the team is hated by many, especially by fans of the other team in the bay (and vice-versa, it goes both ways). Now there are great kind-hearted fans on both sides, but I have seen and heard so many fans of one team bash the other. I see that if one team does well fans of the other wont support them. This is an example of "hatin". If our team does not have success, we do not want the other team to have success. But why is this?

We can look all through the bible and see that haters. Cain hated on Abel, Pharaoh hated on the Hebrews, Saul hated on David, Pharisees and religious leaders hated on Jesus, and so on. As we can see the "hate" is nothing new, but when we look closely we can see what this hate leads too. Cain killed Abel, Pharaoh enslaved the Hebrews and ordered Hebrew babies to be killed, Saul wanted David killed, and we all know what happened to Jesus. Full blown hate leads to sin, the result of that sin is evil, which will eventually lead to death (Romans 6:23, James 1:14-15). This is playing out at sporting events, as you will hear about shootings, fights, stabbings and other violence after sports games. Most of us have heard about the Giants fan that was attacked at Dodger Stadium that suffered brain damage as a result of the beatings. What drives us as a society to act in such a way? Why are we at one time or another, "a hater"?

I could go into many reasons why this occurs, but let me just mention one. I believe we hate because we have a loss of identity. Let me explain. Sometimes another persons success threatens our confidence in our own existence. Going back to the sports team example, when our team loses we feel our relevance is somehow diminished, and we aren't even playing!  We wrap our identities up in the team by buying jerseys, banners, bumper stickers, etc. Therefore when our team misses the playoffs, has a losing season, or disappoints us in some way, we somehow feel a loss of existence. This is compounded when a rival team enjoys success. Suddenly we feel that our relevance is gone and it is given to others, which results in us becoming haters.We have a desire to dominate. Our team is the best. What I am doing is the best. I am in first place. The problem is we have chosen to wrap our identity in the wrong things! We must remember that our identity is in Christ, and once we embrace that identity, the fact that we have been chosen , we no longer have to worry about dominating over others (John 15:16).When we remember our identity is not in ourselves, our favorite sports team, or anything else we place it in, we can focus on enjoying the freedom, grace, and love that we have in Christ. We do not need to hate because it is no longer our nature, we do not need to dominate over others because we love not only what God loves, but we love how God loves (John 15:12-17). God loved us so much that he paid a debt that he did not owe. His death on the cross was our gain, and if anyone had a legitimate right to be a hater it was Christ. So next time you feel yourself having a little hate towards someone just remind yourself, why am I "hatin"?

Your Greatest Ministry is at Home

I was reading a blog today by Dale Hudson who has spent 22 years in ministry. He listed 10 leadership tips for leaders, specifically for leaders in children's ministry. One of the tips that caught my eye was the statement, "Your greatest ministry is at home." The reason I love this tip so much is because it is true for all people in ministry, not just leaders. Now some may be thinking, "well I'm not in ministry", but guess what.... if you are a Christian you ARE in ministry. We are told to make disciples and share the good news of the grace and redemption we ourselves received through our Lord Jesus Christ. This statement is saying that God has trusted us with a family, and that family is our greatest ministry. Here are some reasons why.

1. We know them! We typically know them best because we spend the most time with them! Why does that matter? Because we already have an unconditional love for them (agape), like the unconditional love God has for us! If we are not ministering to the people we love unconditionally, how are we going to minster to people we love brotherly? (philía)
2. The family unit is God's design. God has put each member of your family together purposefully, and there  is a reason that God created us in the first place. If we look back to Genesis we can see it has always been about community. We were told to multiply and fill the earth (Gen 1:28), even after the fall and the flood (Gen 9:1). It is no wonder our greatest ministry is at home, it is God's plan for families to be discipleship groups, coming together in the home and being discipled so that the individual members can disciple others.
3. We cannot disciple others if we do not disciple our families. I often quote Deuteronomy 6:5-7, which explains our responsibilities as parents. Verse 5 is the verse that Jesus quoted when asked what is the greatest commandment. What follows is the instructions on what to do with the greatest commandment, which is to impress (teach) them on your children. If we are willing to do this for others but not to those in our families then we are forgetting our primary responsibility.

So whats next? What does this look like? I can tell you that it is not necessary to come up with a strict and rigid plan to have a formal bible study every night, week, etc. The Deuteronomy passage is telling us that we just need to spend time with our families. That our conversations show and demonstrate our faith, and we share what God has done in our lives, or what they learned at church this past weekend, or what they may learn the coming up weekend, and more. The key is for them to see you're not a robot or burnt out when you are home. Make sure your family doesn't get the leftovers, because your day was filled with activity with other people. Take your day off and take vacation time, who you are is more important that what you do. God wants us to take care of our families, which is why our greatest ministry is at the home.